She's keeping cool - Photograph - Steven Meisel

She's keeping cool - Photograph - Steven Meisel

Confidence is a powerful tool – feeling confident is not beneficial only for your mental health, but it can also affect the way other people see you. There are many celebrities we call ‘cool’ just because they appear confident whatever they do. It’s about feeling good about yourself and showing it to the world, but unfortunately, that’s not always easy to pull off. There are days when you just feel low, but the good news is that it all depends on you. There are plenty of things you can do to improve your confidence and appear cool wherever you go.

This will cool her - Image Vogue 1999

This will cool her - Image Vogue 1999

Know who you are

This sounds like a tough one to start with but it’s the very essential of building your confidence. Of course, getting to know yourself is a marathon, not a race, meaning it can take a lifetime to complete, but you should at least be aware of your core personality. If it’s hard for you to determine what you want, start by listing things that you definitely don’t want in your life. You don’t want to ever get married or have a corporate job? That’s fine as long as you’re sure about your reasons. Figuring out what you want exactly is a process but once you learn it, you can start working towards it and your confidence will thrive.

Write down your talents

Writing something down is the best way to visualise it and that’s exactly what you’ll need on the days when you don’t really feel good about yourself. Take a piece of paper and write down all of your qualities, talents, and other good sides. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others, there are always going to be a lot of people who have accomplished more than you, but that’s not relevant. Focus on your good sides and your accomplishments. Psychologists recommend making this list when you feel good about yourself for the obvious reason – to avoid being too hard on yourself when you’re feeling low in confidence.

Fake it ‘til you make it

This tactic is applicable to building your confidence and it works like this: if you look like a confident person, you’ll soon start to feel like one. Of course, the psychology behind it is far more complicated than this, but the point remains – put effort into your physical appearance and see what happens. Nourish your skin and take good care of your hair to get that killer shine that will make you a head-turner. Also, dress for confidence – choose the clothes that suit your body figure and make you feel good . Soon, people around will start noticing this and begin to perceive you as a cool and confident person.

Remember that everyone struggles

Don’t forget – you’re not alone in this confidence-related struggle. All of those "cool" people you see have their own fears and issues too, they’re probably just better at hiding their insecurites. Don’t fear judgment either – studies show that most people are focused inwardly and constantly preoccupied with how they appear, so they actually don’t have the time to stop and judge you for what you’re wearing or saying. Finally, understand that confidence is not universal, meaning you can be top notch in your work field and still have low-confidence in some other situations.

Love your flaws and failures

There’s a formula to staying cool and confident forever – it’s accepting your flaws and failures, and learning from them. A study conducted by business psychologists revealed that contrary to popular belief, less-confident people tend to be more successful. How come? Well, lower self-confidence makes people pay attention to negative feedback, meaning they can learn from their mistakes and progress more rapidly. Once you accept your flaws, you’ll be able to find something positive in every situation and rise up stronger and more confident after every failure.

At the end of the day, building your self-confidence is all about loving yourself. Self-love is not selfish – it’s the very basis of a confident personality. Once you manage to love yourself, it all becomes a piece of cake. Tell yourself that you’re amazing, that will give you that confident look you always wanted, and in time you won't even need to tell yourself, you will just be it.